Saturday, September 15, 2007

yes? no? maybe?

I'm confused! My future is really messed up. I don't know what I'm gonna do, and I only have 4 months left. I'm so confused I don't even know what to pray for anymore. What I should be asking and all that. I know what I don't want and what I like. I kinda know what I would like to do but I can't really do because of some limitations. And then there's the timing of everything! AHH!! I know... I should depend on God. But I still have to make my own decision right? Like I said, I don't know what to ask for anymore. There's the normal guidance, providence and dependence that I pray for, but I feel it's not enough! I don't know why. Slap me!

I'm just gonna make a list for my own sake.

I don't want

- to study anymore. None of those professions like doctors and all that because they study all their life.

I like
- children! nono, sorry... I LOVE KIDS!

- production. If I HAD to get a degree(soo many people have told me how important one would be. And of course I've realised that) I would get one in mass comm. I love production. I love getting the ideas on my head into real live sets. When I'm thinking of stuff for school or GB, there just this thing that goes on in my head. So, if I ended up studying(I probably would) mass comm it is. But I DON'T WANT TO STUDY YET! I can do that later.

I would like to do

- travel. I wish there were such a job or something that would have me live in one country for a year or so and then move to another. That way, you get the whole culture. Not just touring around sight seeing even though that's nice too.

- be an air stewardess cause they travel and they get paid ALOT. There's also the whole cabin crew which I know is not glamorous but the experience you get from there, priceless! I can't do that next year cause of the stupid braces. Sheesh

- go on Doulos. I sooo wanna go because I really like what they do. Sail to different countries helping them in every way they can, spiritually and physically. My dad doesn't allow me to do that. Just cause it's not a strong enough foundation for my future. He said "you can go next time when you're older". BUT, I just found out that Doulos is retiring in 2010!! *screammmmmm* How la? I sent a pre-application form a week ago without my parents knowledge (shhhh..) I would be great if I could go next year and join them for two years which is kinda the normal time length for volunteers BUT, there's the stupid braces again! I can't be on a ship for two years when I have appointments once in two months right? So, I just sent in the form for the three month short term thing. I should be able to work with my dentist about it. But I WANT TO join for two years!! Three months seriously not enough la. I stumbled( I don't think it's stumbling, more like God's will, but I'll just put it as "stumbled") onto soo many ex douloids' blogs. It's really amazing how much you can learn from there. Really, it's so amazing, I don't really know how to put it in words. If I did, it'll be an essay.
So how? I only have about 4 months okay. Not to mention the whole timing thing like deadlines.
Slap me people! or point a gun at my head.
Oh btw, excuse my weird grammar. I just took off my brains to watch "She's The Man"

first, we slide down

then, we get stuck at the bottom!

I told you I love kids.

This was taken during the Sengoi mission trip.

Kids and mission work. Ahhh... Life!

No comments: