Pull Out

Hello minuscule world! Time for more emo-ing. Just close this window la.

I feel like pulling out of my STEP. I'm not even on the ship yet and I already think it'll be bad(not the ship, me) I'm not right. I'm not right with God, people and myself. So how can I be in a program that requires me to be my best when I'm not. I'm not even myself anymore. I don't even know what that is. I've been hoping that I'll get over it before the ship, but it's 31 fucking days left. Not good at all. Plus, the amount of things I have on my hands is so overwhelming, I really really really can't take it. Delaying my STEP would lighten things, it'll also give me more time to get right. Should I? The weirdest thing is, even though I hate all the work and even though I'm not right, I can't wait to go! Sheesh, I hate you.

Don't say it if you don't mean it.
Don't tell me things you won't do.
Don't pretend.
I'll never believe again anyway.