It's the 28th today. This time last year, everything Doulos/away from home was set, confirmed, 100%, tickets booked, wooopeeedoo, i can't wait etc. A year later, I'm home, doing nothing really, feeling abit nostalgic. Sort of in an in between situation. I don't really miss stuff, or rather don't want to be missing stuff (the way it's been since I came home) but yet my brain's betraying me. It's allowing flashbacks to happen whether i want it to or not. I feel everything when I remember. Some days I wake up feeling like I just woke up in my cabin for a split second, I remember the constant huuuuuummm, remember waking up and knowing my cabin mates are there as well, waking up knowing I'm not on land but on a big chunk of metal, waking up thinking "I wonder what's going to happen today". Then sometimes, I remember the smell, the distinct Accom-cleaning-products smell that goes on throughout the ship.
I get all these but I'm not exactly sad about it. I looked through pictures one day, and there's this little knot I think (don't really know how to describe it), not exactly sad, but the feeling is there. you know? I don't even know.
While on the ship, I kept a daily journal, writing out everything that happened. With the time and all that. I started on the 8th of April I think. So I shall read through it daily come April 8th. It might not be a good idea, but I'll try it anyway.
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3 years ago