it's about time i started using this blog again eh? Write more about other stuff than my travels. I think writing's coming back to me now. Plus, it'll be a good read of God's goodness in the future.
So i've been learning so much these past months. Mostly just being very very very blesses. God has just given me so much! Much more than I could ever ask for. He's been so faithful and so merciful. He teaches me, challenges me, stretches me so many times and in the end, I still end up screaming at Him for the things i don't get or the things i want. But ah, God is good remember? God is ever loving and ever forgiving and ever gracious. And He just keeps on giving me. Oh, how I love Him.
My plans in Australia started with nothing, and look where I'm at now! About 15 town and 4 main cities in Australia. God is good. I've been asking Him to teach me and to make me grow in Him, to be the person He wants me to be and to do the things He wants me to do. To let Him set me in his path and for me to just surrender to everything that's Him. I've learnt many times over and over again that I must FOLLOW HIM, and when I go astray, guess what? He brings me back. Yes, God is good.
He's taught me recently to LOVE. Not just to say to a friend "i love you" and let them know it, or to be kind towards another person because of love, or to be nice or whatever. But really love like the Bible talks about Love. Like 1 Corinthians 13. I prayed earnestly for God to teach me something that day and He pressed that verse on my heart. I must love the way He talks about love. To not envy, to not keep records of wrong doings, to be not easily angered to rejoice in truth etc. When applied into my daily life, I've realized how I've fallen short of all this, and then realized how loveless my relationships have been. At the end, it says that LOVE NEVER FAILS. It doesn't say love works only for that person, or sometimes it might not work, or that it depends on the situation, it says it NEVER fails. Ah, have I said God is good? how much more of an assurance can you get? It also says that without love, everything else is futile. Without love, my passion, my talents, my knowledge is nothing.
I've also learnt not to thrust my being into the company of others. To not rely my happiness, my joy, my character, my emotions on my relationship with other human beings, but completely in God. Human beings will fail you, disappoint you, break your trust. But guess what? God is good. And He's also showed me that even regarding my relationships and friends, He is in absolute control.
Another thing I've noticed is how passionate I've been and how God always revive that passion. The moment I go astray or my fire dampens. He always lights it up again and I'm on fire for Him. While on the ship, everyone was well, not always, but most of the time passionate for Him and it was so easy to let that passion grow in me as well. I liked it, I loved it! I loved being on fire for God and His kingdom. It was an amazing feeling! To be just all for Him to let Him do whatever He wants to do in me. In ME! Insignificant little me! So after the ship, I still had that fire, but then I started to die as the people around me just well, "didn't have it". I could be sitting at a conversation and then bring it to the topic of how great God is and be going on about His goodness, about every other thing and centering it on Him and just loving it, and I'd leave the conversation feeling how little the other person has responded. How the other person had that "okay, stop talking about God now" look and vibe. I'm not saying that if you don't talk about God 24/7 you're not passionate, or don't love Him or whatever, I'm just saying it was a different environment out of the ship. And so my fire goes down, and I'm less and less motivated about anything. And remember how good God is? He sends me to Cornerstone and I just learn even more. Now, back in Adelaide, away from the confines of a Christian community, He's taught me that another way to be passionate about Him is by LIVING for Him. Not just what I say or do, but by LIVING for him.
Alright, that's alot for now, hopefully I write more in the future.
Goodnight, and God bless
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