Swiss Emmental and Blue

Tonight, I sit on my floor bed eating cheese from a knife, drinking sweet tea from a bottle and read The End of a Spear. So much for the 1 hour walk around the condo today.

This cheese is delicious.

I lay in bed worrying about many things. About India, God, friends, love. And I was overwhelmed to the point of eat-cheese-at 1.30am. Eww, I just chewed on a piece of cheese wax, thinking excitedly that I was about to consume blue cheese.

Now that's the real stuff.

I read blogs of people whom I look up to for their wisdom and thought provoking writing. Who share their life like I'm a trusted friend. I read their writings of unique struggles as they live in circumstances that you would say aren't normal. They are normal people with normal thoughts. And so I'm normal too and therefore would have normal thoughts.

I'm down to my last piece of blue.

I have to make myself think. What is incredible? I miss having the culture where people praise people all the time. "Nice shirt!" "Your hair looks good like that" "That cake was delicious." "You're so funny" But now, why would I absorb all these things that shouldn't matter? Or do they?

Last Swiss Emmental. Sweet tea does taste good with cheese.

I think I try. I've kept my room clean. I exercise. I play the piano. I cook and do chores. But I don't read, I don't draw, I don't create, I don't talk, I don't Love, I don't smart.

You know what? Maybe I just need to see more people other than my family.

See ya, I'm going to get more cheese.