Age/Friendship/Trust

Age, friendship and trust. What order should they be placed in? You'll age no matter what. You gain friendship through trust and friendships last as long as you age. So is it trust, friendship and age? Without one or the other will the rest follow? But in what manner? So again, what order should they be placed in? I wonder.
 

Attempt number two ( i think its only two)

Scratch everything I said before about trying cause I didn't. Bleh.
 
Whats new? Whats new? Well, life's been quite new lately. I'm turning twenty this year. From now its going to be -ty's and no more -teen's =(. Last years adventures sure have changed me. For the better in so many ways. This year so far, I've been trying to live as a new person. One who doesn't get too comfortable for too long. At first, the idea of leaving home as soon as possible was just shuper but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. Not anytime soon at least, unless the big man up there says so. So this year, instead of starting my life away from home, I shall remain home to take time for myself. Not in the selfish way of course, more like try to brush up on my time with God, focus more on my spiritual relationship instead of social ones, read more intellectual books, get a little fitter, clean out my room etc. then with all that, I shall apply it all towards my society, friends and acquaintances and such. It's not going to easy for sure. I'm gonna lose track so so many times, but i think it'll turn out fine don't you?
 
So this year, after all that changing of plans, plan D (or is it E or F?) is to stay home in Malaysia, finish grade 12 by February, start work in mums school as assistant teacher/pre-school teacher in March and take the SAT's again in May. Keeping in mind that US is still an option. Then I'll leave for Newie in 2010 to finally begin my degree (Bachelor of Teaching/Bachelor of Arts Primary). By then, I'd have work experience, a better spiritual self, and be more prepared for living away from home (in more ways than one).
 
Yesterday (25/1/09) was an eventful one, little brother turned 18, CNY eve, a friend left, a friend got married. Ah... life, you are what you are.
 
Alright, I shall get back to my new found love of 80's rock and maybe attempt to get into the CNY mood.
 

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God is good

it's about time i started using this blog again eh? Write more about other stuff than my travels. I think writing's coming back to me now. Plus, it'll be a good read of God's goodness in the future.
 
So i've been learning so much these past months. Mostly just being very very very blesses. God has just given me so much! Much more than I could ever ask for. He's been so faithful and so merciful. He teaches me, challenges me, stretches me so many times and in the end, I still end up screaming at Him for the things i don't get or the things i want. But ah, God is good remember? God is ever loving and ever forgiving and ever gracious. And He just keeps on giving me. Oh, how I love Him.
 
My plans in Australia started with nothing, and look where I'm at now! About 15 town and 4 main cities in Australia. God is good. I've been asking Him to teach me and to make me grow in Him, to be the person He wants me to be and to do the things He wants me to do. To let Him set me in his path and for me to just surrender to everything that's Him. I've learnt many times over and over again that I must FOLLOW HIM, and when I go astray, guess what? He brings me back. Yes, God is good.
 
He's taught me recently to LOVE. Not just to say to a friend "i love you" and let them know it, or to be kind towards another person because of love, or to be nice or whatever. But really love like the Bible talks about Love. Like 1 Corinthians 13. I prayed earnestly for God to teach me something that day and He pressed that verse on my heart. I must love the way He talks about love. To not envy, to not keep records of wrong doings, to be not easily angered to rejoice in truth etc. When applied into my daily life, I've realized how I've fallen short of all this, and then realized how loveless my relationships have been. At the end, it says that LOVE NEVER FAILS. It doesn't say love works only for that person, or sometimes it might not work, or that it depends on the situation, it says it NEVER fails. Ah, have I said God is good? how much more of an assurance can you get? It also says that without love, everything else is futile. Without love, my passion, my talents, my knowledge is nothing.
 
I've also learnt not to thrust my being into the company of others. To not rely my happiness, my joy, my character, my emotions on my relationship with other human beings, but completely in God. Human beings will fail you, disappoint you, break your trust. But guess what? God is good. And He's also showed me that even regarding my relationships and friends, He is in absolute control.
 
Another thing I've noticed is how passionate I've been and how God always revive that passion. The moment I go astray or my fire dampens. He always lights it up again and I'm on fire for Him. While on the ship, everyone was well, not always, but most of the time passionate for Him and it was so easy to let that passion grow in me as well. I liked it, I loved it! I loved being on fire for God and His kingdom. It was an amazing feeling! To be just all for Him to let Him do whatever He wants to do in me. In ME! Insignificant little me! So after the ship, I still had that fire, but then I started to die as the people around me just well, "didn't have it". I could be sitting at a conversation and then bring it to the topic of how great God is and be going on about His goodness, about every other thing and centering it on Him and just loving it, and I'd leave the conversation feeling how little the other person has responded. How the other person had that "okay, stop talking about God now" look and vibe. I'm not saying that if you don't talk about God 24/7 you're not passionate,  or don't love Him or whatever, I'm just saying it was a different environment out of the ship. And so my fire goes down, and I'm less and less motivated about anything. And remember how good God is? He sends me to Cornerstone and I just learn even more. Now, back in Adelaide, away from the confines of a Christian community, He's taught me that another way to be passionate about Him is by LIVING for Him. Not just what I say or do, but by LIVING for him.
 
Alright, that's alot for now, hopefully I write more in the future.
 
Goodnight, and God bless
 
end#

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How?

Oh! So dusty. Sorry poor blue blog. I know I’ve neglected you. But it’s about time I came back here to do what I normally do. Express myself? I think that’s it.

 

So one week on the ship right? Opne week and 2 days to be exact. I’ve met Doini from Romania. She’s cool. But while working, she mentioned something. You can’t exactly tell people how it’s wonderful to be on the ship. You can’t exactly explain. How can you? Ya, you can say you live with people from all over the world, and that it’s great because you can experience the different cultures and  yada yada. But how can you really know? You have to be HERE. I’m not using this as an excuse of course. It’s more like and realization? (sorry, my English is dying here. Have to make my sentences simpler while talking to other people who’s first language isn’t english) before I came on the ship, I tried to get as much information as possible. Talk to as many people as possible. Find out how they felt about it and what they’ve learnt. But I realized that it was all almost the same and very general. I wasn’t satisfied with all that before coming to the ship was possible. But after it was definite that I’m coming, I just left it as “nevermind, I’m gonna find out soon for myself”. And true enough, if I were to tell someone back home, I would say almost the same things as the other people have told me. It’s so difficult to explain something like this when I’m actually LIVING here. To express what you’ve gotten from this experience is to basically express how you’ve LIVED! If I were to tell you the same things as the others. Like it’s a wonderful time, I got so much closer to God, you’ll learn lots of things, etc. I’d feel it’s not enough.

 

I feel like the way I express myself is through my actions and my daily life. I see God mostly in what I do and what happens around me. So to me, I find it most helpful if I were to read about what the other person has been doing. Like for example, when I get to do stuff I’ve never done before or see things I’ve never seen before, I thank God so much and realize how privileged I am to be where I am and who I am, I learn that there is so much more to the world I’ve known all my life. And thats just one example.

 

So maybe I should express these thoughts? Ya, I should. Can’t really “expect” people to know how I think right? Okay then. But is it enough?

Goodbye

Hello poor blog. I've neglected you! Though I have been updating the other blog.

Its 4.30 am now. I'm leaving in about 12 hours. Maybelle is here. Staying overnight to keep me company. I guess I'm packed, just a few more things to stuff. Have not reached 20kg! only 13 so far. But thats just suitcase la. Still have got hand carry. But eh, hand carry also still not full yet okayyy...

I'm excited, afraid, and sad! At the same time!! Craziness! (As Maybelle would say)

I'm so afraid that I would forget something important to bring along!! Nevermind. Cross my fingers and pray.

So yea, after all that panicking, stress and everything else. I'm ACTUALLY GOING! Remember all my previous posts about Doulos? Well, it's finally here! In about 24 hours, I'd be on the ship already. So remember Janene and I at 2pm Sunday ya? That's when we'd have boarded the ship already.

Sigh, I'm gonna miss home so much! But I'm also wayyy too excited for what God has for me. Pray for me people! Pray especially that I'd get to update more. It'll be mostly the other blog that'll be updated more though. Oh ya, if I haven't mentioned yet, the email is ____. I won't have access to both blogs while on board, so can't read chatbox, only comments (if they get sent to me)

Email me people! AND PRAY!

Goodbye =D =D