one week

It's been exactly a week since my last post and I'm doing the exact same thing I did last Monday. I've been awake since 8 and I think my butt is stuck to the chair. I don't want to go for piano class! Still trying to convince mum to cancel it.

The mission trip was amazing! And as I've mentioned before in my emo-ish posts, there really is a reason for everything. Like "if that did not happen, then that would not happen" Lemme show you...

21st - mission trip/Gwen
22nd - mission trip
23rd - mission trip/camp

I heard about the trip before I heard about Gwen. I got myself all excited about it cause I've always wanted to see Gwen live! I've missed Muse and LP so the only other artist I wanna see live would be Gwen. When I realized they clash, I was hoping the trip'll get canceled. It didn't. I even arranged for my dad to send me up to Kampar after the concert. It could have happened. Although, if my dad would have sent me up, I wouldn't be able to attend the family camp. I wanted to attend the camp because two little super adorable girls are going for it too. So basically it was Gwen/trip or trip/camp. It ended up to be the latter. I don't even know why. A normal person would chose the former right? I could have thought of all kinds of ways to make it happen, but I didn't. One of the reasons was also that I didn't have anyone to go with also la (I know. Such a loser right?)

There's more.

A day before the trip, my officer called and told me we're visiting 2 villages. one on the 22nd and one on the 23rd. ( I know!) PLUS, the village we're visiting on the 22nd is the one I've been to before and they're going to a different one on the 23rd, the day I leave for camp. WTH? I miss the concert to go to a village I've been to? Strangely though, I didn't feel as pissed as I normally would. I just floated again. Trying to twist things like asking my officer if we could switch the visits. NO change there.

So i go on, having lovely Kampar food and then to the village. Man! This was different! The kids were more open and friendly, we spent more time with them because we had more time this time with them. I LOVE IT THERE!

Later, I found out that 3 of the girls there were homeless because some mad women set their houses on fire! Including their families, about 19 of them were left homeless and they had nothing left. Fortunately no one was hurt. My team took out RM50 for each family to help them and I still felt it's not enough. The girls showed us their ruined home and one can really see a home gone. (I'll put up pictures when I do.)

When we got back to our dorms, I decided to call my mum to bring up my album when she picks me up for camp. Then I thought, I might as well ask her to bring up the clothes I don't wear anymore to give away. THEN, I realized it's Wednesday and my church has Bible study that night. So I asked mum to contact the others for donation.

The next day, my parents came up with a LOAD of things. It covered my dad's back seat completely and there were more in the boot. It was SO unexpected! My officer even thought that the amount will only cover a small part of her car boot!

So you see? If I went for Gwen and didn't go for camp, my dad won't be able to pass me the stuff for the people who need it!

GOD IS GREAT

Blab

How bored can a person get? urgh. Thank goodness I have one week away from home.

Kampar - Sengoi Mission trip

Pangkor - Church family camp

Kinda looking forward to both of theses events. I'm missing the Gwen concert because of the mission trip and I'm gonna miss the Jazz festival and some time to spend with others for the camp. I'm also gonna miss part of the mission trip because of the church camp. The way my plans went about was so weird. Like I was pushed into it. I guess it's one of those times where what I want doesn't matter cause what God wants to give me is wayy better.

I'm watching Transformers cartoon now. In case you didn't know, it shows on Mondays to Thursdays 7pm on channel 4. It's super cool but the movie is better. Oh ya, DO NOT buy the tranformers toys from toys r us. They're not authentic. Transformers coming out in IMAX!! ( I hope) I read about it on slashfilm.com so I don't know if it'll come out in Malaysia. (Here I go again. Transformers Transformers Transformers when will I get over it)

I actually started the International day post, but I'm too lazy. Maybe I'll post it up next week, when I get bored again.

Difficult

I'm so bloody angry I wanna rant the hell out of this blog! I shall try not to cause I don't want to be emo. I'm trying so darn hard to get school people out. SO BLOODY DIFFICULT! Screw la...

I wanna driveeee... Even that I can't do. Went for lecture already, but even getting to sit for my test is soo difficult. I wanna drive so I can go out!! I wanna drink till I drop. Wait, even if I could drive, I won't have anyone to go out with. bloody hell!

Why la... friends that drink have exams, friends that drive don't drink. Other friends are still *little*, have to depend on parents permission.

I've got two whole weeks of holiday. My first week is gonna be spent in camps. I have no idea what I'm gonna do after that. I HOPE I can go out with school people. We always say we have to go out during school, but when the holidays come, we don't. The last time we went out was for Jerms farewell, urgh, that was so bad... There were sooo many of us. Couldn't even go out as one group. That's why I DON"T LIKE going out with a big bunch of people.

Last few weeks, especially the week we planned for INTERNATIONAL DAY, school was sooo awesome! The girls and some guys we cuckoo! Ish, I wish I wish I wish the girls can go out oone day and just sit, talk and laugh... before we all get separated.

the wonderful girls(MY's missing)

Some of them get on my nerves at times, but I don't care, cause they're still awesome and I most definitely pissed them of at times.

The best thing that can happen to me right now when I'm absolutely bored is a good movie. My life would be an absolute bore if I didn't have my movies. (my movies meaning the movies I've come to love so much)

*crosses fingers very tightly and switches tv on.* please let there be a good movie... DAMN IT! My dad is watching!! Screw(driver)! Crap la

I'll just watch a VCD. I shall watch City of Angels. Been meaning to watch that for ages now.

Seem

I feel horrible. This is actually one of the very few times in my life I'm actually upset about something that's normal. I'm such a pro when it comes to keeping my feelings inside. I guess this time, it's doing more bad than good to me.
It's been going on since I realised I was going to graduate. Last year, all I had to do was think about my options, and they weren't so bad. Then as time goes by, so many other things had to be thought of that didn't even occur to me before. Things that I have no control over.
I'm going through this stage of my life so blindly because I'm not getting enough help. I'm so afraid that I might make the wrong decision and regret it later.
My mum is doing all she can, but really, it's NOT ENOUGH. She isn't my teacher and won't know whats best for me in my system. She's not the one giving out the money. She says that I'm already taking things into my own hands and why should I ask other people for help. Of course i need information from other sources. What do I know of my future? I feel like I'm being taken for granted and pushed aside. It's like as if, my education, my future does not matter at all just because I SEEM like I know what I'm doing. EH! not matter what I'm still only 18 and I need guidance like any other person.
I haven't even told anyone about this yet, because I just can't. I WANT to . But I can't. Things just keep getting in my way. Every time I think of it, I'll get all upset and frustrated and start the waterworks. How in the world am I suppose to talk to anyone about it?
I wish I were in the government school at times like these. At least there you're getting SOME help. There are open days and stuff from uni's that will be held in school. Then you don't need to TROUBLE your parents sending you up and down. In school you have teachers or other people who are there to help you think about your future, or at least friends who are going through the same thing with you.
I haven't ranted like this to anyone about my future. It sucks more than anything I've ever gone through.

Done

I DID IT i did it I DID IT i did it I DID IT i did it I DID IT

I... WATCHED TRANSFORMERS AGAIN (it's red because I love OPTIMUS PRIME)

He's the BEST and his sword is so cool1

Why do other girls like Bumblebee?

He's okay la, being guardian and all... but Prime is so darn cool! Especially when he speaks to a human face-to-face! I love I love I love this movie so much! The best effect is when the robots transform while fighting and then transform again and again and again(why am I repeating everything three times? ooo, I just remembered! You know in the movie, they also say "no, no, no!" That must be why la!) Yay, I'm subconsciously high on the movie... WEEEE! I can watch it over and over and over again!

I watched it with ring-a-bell-in-May(Maybelle) after I got another tooth pulled out. Luckily I didn't drool again, otherwise I'd drool blood!(my bro actually told me to bring a bib just incase. HAH) I did twitch again though. Could feel my heart racing when Barricade came out and fought Bumblebee for the first time!!

I stayed back after the credits and saw this scene of Starscream fly out into outerspace. There's gonna be a second movie and a third and I'm dyyying. They better do a good job with the second movie man... otherwise, I'll boycott it! Remember Spiderman? The first movie was okay, the second movie was great, the third movie was worse than the first (except for venom). If this happens with Transformers, the second movie being better than the first(hopefully the third won't be so bad la), I think I'm gonna live in the cinema.

This is production in it's FINEST! (Pirates 3 is almost as good though)

Jasmine, stop publishing posts about Transformers